Manipulation and its signs

Imogen Santoyo, Staff Reporter

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Many people are victims of manipulation. Whether it’s a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister, father, mother, etc. Anyone can easily be manipulated. There are many ways one can be manipulated. Most relationships are based on  trust, mutual respect, and security, not emotional manipulation.

Unfortunately, even the best of people may fall prey to either being the manipulator or the manipulated. It is part of being human. So what causes this problem? People want to get their way, so they use others, sometimes without even realizing it. But no manipulation is good. Here are some examples.

 1. They turn your words to benefit them.

A manipulator has trouble accepting responsibility for their behavior, and often if you call them on it, they’ll find a way to turn it around to make you feel bad or guilty.

2. They say something and later deny it.

A manipulator may say yes to a request or make a commitment to you, and then when the time comes to follow through, they conveniently forget they ever said anything.

3. They use guilt trips to control you.

This is the ultimate in manipulative behavior. The manipulator finds your emotional Achilles heel and pokes it until you either give in or feel like a hound dog.

4. They diminish your problems or difficulties.

Emotional manipulators don’t care much about your problems — unless they can use them as a platform to highlight their own.

5. They use the emotional back door.

Rather than being direct and forthright, manipulators will sidestep honest communication and use passive aggressive methods instead.

6. They suck the energy in a room.

Manipulators want the attention and focus to be on them, and they want to make sure everyone in the room notices if they are angry, unhappy, or discontented in some way.

7. They use aggression or anger.

Emotional manipulators often try to intimidate others with aggressive language, subtle threats, or outright anger.

8. They seek out the sensitive, insecure, or overly trusting.

   Emotional manipulators seek out the vulnerabilities in people in order to exploit them.

   The only way to avoid a manipulator is by analyzing your feelings. If you’re feeling defensive, anger, guilty, shamed, or even sympathetic towards that person, it may be an abusive relationship. Not all abuse is physical. It can also be verbal or even emotional.

Eight manipulation signs found on

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