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Spies, Ties, and Thighs: Homecoming 2018, A Success or Not?

While fun, a different venue would make it more successful

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Spies, Ties, and Thighs: Homecoming 2018, A Success or Not?

Students having a great time dancing in the cafeteria

Students having a great time dancing in the cafeteria

Aiden Cook

Students having a great time dancing in the cafeteria

Aiden Cook

Aiden Cook

Students having a great time dancing in the cafeteria

Aiden Cook, Guest Reporter

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    Every year we hold an annual homecoming at our school. Every year a new theme is announced to not only influence our outfits, but our mindset. Every year we ask our close friends (or even closer lovers) to this annual gathering of our student body. But why? Is homecoming truly a gathering to be desired? Is the $25 admission fee kind of pushing it? Why should I go to homecoming? After some serious investigation and procrastination, this reporter got to the bottom of it.

   Upon entering homecoming we have the first realization of the amount of work that goes into such a social: Photo booths, an awkward D.J., tastefully tacky decorations, and professional photographers. However, I wasn’t fooled by this facade, I was here to talk to the students, to get the real scoop. Quickly our cafeteria filled to the brim with our student body, eager to “get down” on the dance floor. This exposed the first two problems to our homecoming; heat and grinding. As local student Kevin Gilliam said, “I think it’s way too hot, and there should be fans.”

   As someone covered in a stinky sweat, I could agree. Why is homecoming held in the cafeteria? Kamiakin holds possession of several gyms and yet we pack students into a tiny cafeteria to sweat and wither from heat exhaustion. Is there something far more sinister behind this? Perhaps a conspiracy against the students from the sinister adult leadership? Probably not, but we should get some fans in there.

   The second problem we see at our annual homecoming is the famous “Grindpile”. Of course due to the small size of the cafeteria, students are forced to get up nice and close during the dance. This wouldn’t be a problem if we were a prude student body. Unfortunately we are not prude. What forms is a large “Grindpile” that many fall victim to. My beautiful date during this investigation fell to it, and was never seen again. I still shiver from its larger, unnatural horror.

   In order to remain unbiased, however, I interviewed local freshman Lia Severson to see what she would change at homecoming. “I don’t know, my dress?”

    As the dance came to an end, I realized that while many problems undermine our homecoming, that’s what makes it special. The “Grindpile”, the heat and sweat, the indecisive freshmen. This is what makes our homecoming worth going to because what’s better than getting hot and sweaty in a suit in the middle of the “Grindpile?” This is part of what it truly means to be a Kamiakin Brave. Oh, the theme was also 007 by the way. So that was pretty neat.

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Spies, Ties, and Thighs: Homecoming 2018, A Success or Not?